


I tell my love to wreck it all

by gratuitously1d



Category: One Direction (Band), X Factor RPF
Genre: Angst, Community: 1dkinkmeme, Dubious Consent, Hurt No Comfort, M/M, Minor Violence, Rough Sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-01-13
Updated: 2013-01-13
Packaged: 2017-11-25 07:04:54
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,307
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/636360
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gratuitously1d/pseuds/gratuitously1d
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>On the 16th of September 2012, Louis tweeted that Larry is the biggest load of bullshit. The infamous tweet is the kindest thing Louis does to Harry that day.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I tell my love to wreck it all

**Author's Note:**

> Beta: [ologist](http://archiveofourown.org/users/ologist/pseuds/ologist)
> 
> Louis' tweet: <https://twitter.com/Louis_Tomlinson/status/247381724760264704>
> 
> For 1dkinkmeme [prompt](http://1dkinkmeme.livejournal.com/6856.html?thread=8590536#t8590536): after all the tweets from Louis today (denying larry and such) i just want really really really rough sex and louis being dominant and idk anything based around the tweets from today that includes rough sex (and, as the title says, dub!con non!con is fine)
> 
> Title from 'Skinny Love' by Bon Iver.

Louis doesn’t mean it.

The worst part is, Harry believes this.

“Louis,” Harry says brightly to Louis like he isn’t a disappointment, like he didn’t just deny them again. As if Louis can be forgiven without even saying an apology.

“Harry,” Louis says curtly and watches as Harry’s smile dims a little.

“Are you okay?” Harry asks and Louis wants to laugh except it would be mean. It comes out like a cough.

Louis shrugs. Harry’s eyes are big and so goddamn innocent. He wishes Harry wouldn’t look at him as if he could still look up to him.

Harry’s hand creeps over to hold Louis’ in what is supposed to be a comforting gesture but the older boy pulls away.

“I’m going to hurt you, Haz,” Louis says quietly. It’s an honest confession and it’s something Louis _knows_. He’s not ready and he’s scared that everyone will leave him if they know the truth. If he’s going down, he’ll pull Harry with him just so he doesn’t have to sink alone. It’s selfish and he can’t bring himself to give a shit about how wrong it is because he’s almost a hundred percent sure that if he asked, Harry would do it for him anyway. “You’ll hate me and you’ll leave me.”

The curly haired boy slips his hand into Louis’. “No you won’t,” Harry says with a shake of his head, sending the curls into his eyes. “I wouldn’t hate you or leave you, Lou.” The earnestness in his voice almost makes Louis believe him and he wants to, so much, but he knows that Harry is wrong. Harry is innocent. The younger boy thinks that if he is good to people, people will be good to him. That love is a good thing and it’s all you need. Louis used to think that too but he knows now that love is powerful, unexplainable and it can make people do great, terrible things.

“I’m going to hurt you,” Louis repeats, louder. This time it sounds like a threat more than a warning.

“Lou,” Harry says, pushing his fringe to the side with his free hand and not letting Louis go. “You won’t. I know you. You wouldn’t. Not, like, on purpose.” He sounds fondly exasperated and it is this that makes Louis angry. Harry can’t know that he wouldn’t hate Louis. He’s young and stupid and reckless with his love. He still loves with his whole heart like the world wouldn’t hate him if they knew that he is in love with his bandmate. Louis knows that Harry dreams of being out and proud, of being accepted despite being gay.

Louis pushes him back, Harry going down easily. Louis straddles him, clenches a fist full of Harry’s hair and yanks hard.

“Ow, Lou-”

The older boy pushes Harry’s face into his crotch without letting go of the punishing grip in his hair.

It’s too soon and it’s clear Harry is struggling. Harry is trying to make enthusiastic noises anyway, like he really wants it. It’s sweet but it’s not what Louis is going for so he tries to make Harry choke on his dick. The noises of Harry gagging is unbelievably hot and Louis feels only a bit guilty.

Louis pulls him off, knowing he can’t come no matter how good Harry is because he’s just not in the mood. He sees Harry’s watery eyes. They’re asking _Why? Why would you do that? Why are you doing this to me?_

“You don’t mean it, Lou,” Harry says hoarsely. “You can’t make me hate you.”

Louis laughs. “I’m not done yet.”

Harry bites his lip. “Please, Lou.” But he doesn’t say anything more and Louis doesn’t know what he’s asking. Harry kisses Louis sweetly and it’s Louis who turns his head away and says,

“I want to fuck you.”

“Okay,” Harry agrees without fear as he takes his shirt off. Louis can tell he trusts him not to hurt him. It’s wrong because it’s that which everyone can see. It’s so obvious. Why can’t Harry just hide it? Why does he have to let everyone know? It’s so frustrating when there are other people and Louis can’t, he can’t let people know. It’s private.

Louis pulls at Harry’s belt roughly, slapping his hands when he tries to help.

“Fuck,” Louis says in frustration because Harry’s jeans are so tight. He manages to push them down to Harry’s knees with his underwear and leaves them there. He puts his knee on the crotch, pinning Harry in place.

The curly haired boy obliges him, smiling shyly at him as if to say he isn’t going anywhere.

The older boy undoes his own flies as Harry watches him. The green-eyed boy watches him with the soft gaze of a lover, of someone whose entire world is focused on the other and Louis knows he doesn’t deserve it. 

_Larry is the biggest load of bullshit I've ever heard._

Harry loves him and it is stupid because he’ll only get hurt. The younger boy is so naïve. Louis thinks, do you really think because you love me, it’ll be enough?

With brutal strength, he turns Harry over so he won’t have to see those captivating green eyes accusing him. Harry goes easily enough, he’s always agreeable. Louis wonders what it would be like if Harry fought him, who would win. Louis grips his left hip tightly, wanting to mark him. He pushes his hair back, sticking two fingers in his mouth perfunctorily before shoving them inside Harry.

The curly haired boy gasps but doesn’t protest otherwise, bracing himself as he shifts backwards so his weight is on his knees.

Louis doesn’t even try to find Harry’s prostate, he’s just spreading his fingers, opening Harry up. When he takes his fingers away, Harry sighs and Louis doesn’t even know what that means. The older boy touches the head of his own dick, spreading the pre-come and adds a third finger in.

Harry is breathing heavily, obviously uncomfortable but trying to relax. He never tells Louis to stop, to wait and Louis knows this is because he trusts him not to hurt him. It should be sweet but right now, after all the pressure from the fans, it feels like the trust is a burden and he’s angry again. He’s angry that he has to be the responsible one. It always seems like he’s the one that doesn’t just _believe_ but someone has to look out for them. Someone has to be the one to say wait, what if everything goes wrong? Louis just isn’t willing to risk it when they can have everything now, they just have to be careful. What’s wrong with being careful?

Louis twists his fingers in and out of Harry one last time. He spits in his hand twice and barely slicks himself up before lining himself up at the younger boy’s entrance. He knows Harry is not ready, the line of his back is tense and his shoulders are up, his head hanging down. Louis digs his nails into Harry’s hip and Harry keeps breathing, not saying anything so the older boy pulls Harry towards him, pushing into him. The younger boy is so tight, it hurts Louis. Resting his palm on the middle of Harry’s back, Louis closes his eyes and listens to the sound of them breathing for one, two seconds and then he’s pushing deeper into Harry.

“Lou,” Harry says in a strangled voice as Louis keeps pushing and doesn’t even make any attempt to touch Harry or make it easier for him in any way. “Hurts,” he says quietly like it’s a shameful admission. “Can I-?” He stutters.

“I don’t care,” Louis mutters, focusing on sinking balls deep into Harry. His hand is still gripping Harry’s hip in a vice and he knows it’ll leave livid bruises on the younger boy. If, no, _when_ Harry leaves him, Louis wants Harry to remember this. Louis doesn’t care if it is unfair but if Louis doesn’t get to have him, he doesn’t want anyone else to be able to. Harry has always been his.

“Thank you,” Harry says relieved.

Louis doesn’t know how Harry always thinks the best of him so he bites into the soft part where Harry’s neck joins his shoulder just to hear the younger boy cry out. The older boy can feel Harry’s muscles quivering as he leaves his mark on him. Louis goes hard and fast at a punishing pace because it’s easier that way, easier to pretend that Harry doesn’t think that this is them being adventurous, that this is Louis making love to him. Harry who doesn’t know that Louis needs this to be miserable and awful. He doesn’t want to hurt Harry but he thinks that if he does, then Harry will know. It’s better that he knows.

Harry will be safe. And that’s what’s important.

When Louis comes, he scores all the way down Harry’s back with enough viciousness that it elicits a moan from Harry that sounds painful. There are four vivid lines starting from Harry’s left shoulder blade travelling diagonally towards his right hip and Louis thinks he broke skin at the end because his fingertips feel a little wet. Louis pulls out and Harry gasps, rolling over with his legs still spread. There’s come leaking out of him but despite jerking himself off, his cock looks only halfway hard.

“Sorry,” Harry says like it’s his fault that he didn’t get off. “I can-”

“Just shut up the fuck up,” Louis says, sticking his fingers into Harry. The skin on Harry’s thighs are so pale, Louis can’t resist sucking a bruise right on his inner thigh. He presses his fingers there, watching the skin turn from white back to a mulberry bloom. 

Harry squeaks and squirms and when Louis looks up at him to give him a warning glance, the curly haired boy closes his mouth so he doesn’t accidentally apologize. Louis lowers his mouth teasingly close to the base of Harry’s groin, and makes another mark in the crease of his hips.

Louis knows exactly how to get Harry off as fast as possible so he does, swallowing Harry’s cock while sliding his fingers in and out of him. He’s good at it and he knows it but he tunes out all of the encouraging sounds Harry is making and Harry because it’s distracting. Instead he’s giving someone a blowjob and, really, it could be anyone. It’s just sex.

“Lou, I’m gonna, I’m about to come,” Harry says urgently, warning Louis because he’s considerate like that and Louis pulls off with a wet pop, milking Harry into his hand. He wipes it off on their sheets, making a face. 

“Louis,” Harry breathes out, pushing at the exhaustion that creeps into his tone as he lies back. “I love-”

“I should go,” Louis says, cutting Harry off to do up his pants. He can’t stay because if he does, he knows he won’t get the courage, the bravery to do this and he has to. Harry never learns because if he does, he should leave him. But if he won’t, then Louis will.

“No!” Harry’s hands hold onto Louis’ t-shirt like he can keep him with the thin fabric tethering them. “I’m sorry. I love you, I love you.” He babbles, “Don’t go. I love you.”

You shouldn’t, Louis thinks but he can’t bear to say it out. What he does is worse. He tries to detach Harry from him and it’s then Harry fights him.

“Don’t!” Harry pleas, grabbing on to Louis’ hands. “Please. You didn’t hurt me. It’s fine. I’m fine. Just stay.”

Louis looks down at Harry, tears already slipping down his face. He looks pathetic and it’s Louis who did this to him. Louis who hurt him just like he said he would. The older boy has reduced him to this wretched, broken person and Harry just doesn’t get it. Denying them in public is easy compared to denying Harry – denying himself. Louis knows by doing this, he’s not giving Harry a choice. Louis knows Harry won’t understand that it’s better this way but he hopes Harry will one day.

“Let me go,” Louis says wearily, pushing Harry’s hands away as he tries to untangle himself.

“No,” Harry says with a vehement shake of his head, grabbing on to any part of Louis he can. His hands latch on to Louis’ left wrist but he’s careful, always careful to keep his grip gentle. “You don’t want to do this, Louis. I know you’re scared-”

Louis slaps Harry across the face and the shock of the blow gets him to release him. It’s louder than he would have expected and Harry yelps in surprise, hands flying to his face, long fingers prodding tenderly at reddened skin.

“I,” Louis says, shaken by what he’s done, it just happened but he’s gone too far now to apologise. There are too many things to apologise for. He hates that the first thought that went through his mind was that Harry won’t bruise not because he didn’t mean to hurt him but it would lead to questions and he doesn’t want anyone to know. “Didn’t mean to do that,” he finishes lamely but he keeps his eyes firmly trained on the Toms he’s slipping on his feet. “You should take care of yourself. Don’t come after me,” Louis says with only a hint of regret. He leaves the keys on the table, puts a jacket on and lets himself out.

In the stairwell, Louis pats himself down for his phone and when he unlocks it, the screen opens to Twitter. He thinks about the lies and the truths and how he isn’t sure of what he says anymore.

_I'm happy why can't you accept that._


End file.
